Painful Memories

I can't believe it, one of the most lovely men i've ever met and been fortunate to get to know in my working life is in intensive care! This man is one of such stature and cherished by so many. He has such a close knit and loving family and i'm sure many a good friend. Why is it that the greatest and kindest of beings are those that are put under a spell of misfortune when illness is concerned?!

As soon as i heard last week that he was unwell, the personal pains from when my Father was in hospital struck me. However, this afternoon when an internal email came round the office it was there in writing that this great man was in intensive care and that's when my heart exploded with outrage and tears started welling up. This was now the time to move swiftly away from my desk so nobody could see how upset i was.

Ridiculously enough, i took myself out of the office for a cigarette - nothing healthy in that i know, but the grief that hit me, even though i am positive he is strong enough to pull through, i just needed to escape and have those precious 5 minutes alone to pull myself together.

If you've read my earlier blogs you will know how much the death of my Father hit my world. I don't mean to sound so negative as i would like to think that Frank will be a great survivor of this most awful episode, but unfortunately there are moments when you can be hit both with dread and hopefulness!

The pains of the family will be so intense that they would not at this time be able to describe. The hope, the dreams, the love will be so electric for them at the moment and i hope that these come through and give this loving man the strength he needs to come out of this and get well again.

I will pray for Frank and his family with hope good news will follow about his health.

The moments i have when i think of when my darling Daddy was in pain in hospital flood back and no doubt will continue to do so forever. One tries so hard to take these painful memories away but nature has its way of bringing them back to you when you least expect them. The love i still share for him is great, and i am always talking about what a great man he was.

Life is so unfair, but it makes me want to believe there is so much hope for Frank's recovery. He is in my thoughts.....